reasons why she's better off without me IMO

-she won't have to deal with someone anymore who cleans and cuts
vegetables "too slowly" and in the "wrong" way

- she won't have to listen to my "too dark/deep/negative" 'stories'
anymore

- she will not get mad anymore because she won't see any of the hair that
my dog sometimes leaves on my clothes

- she won't be annoyed anymore by the fact that I like to wear baggy and
comfortable pants and shirts and that I were several layers when I'm cold

- she won't have to hear me say the sentence "my shoulder/stomach/back hurts"
anymore (it never bothered me when she complained to me about her headaches
or back pain for instance, I almost always massaged her when she wanted me to
and offered to massage her when she was in pain and/or when I felt like it)

- she won't have to watch out anymore whether her neighbors see my leaving and
entering her apartment/the building she lives in

- she won't have to put up anymore with someone who is polyamorous (or in her
words "instable") but who only loved her both emotionally and
physically and never cheated on her

- she won't have to face the fact anymore that I have other friends and
send them text messages, talk to them and visit them (she won't have a
reason to be pissed off and to
reproach me "you're writing novels AGAIN" when I'm just sending a friend a
three-line text message)

- she won't have to call my friends witches anymore

- she won't have to tell me that I'm "not rational" and that I behave
sometimes as if I lived in a cave (as if I were a cavemen)

- she won't have to compare me (or some of my behavior) to my dog [like "you hold your head like your dog when you dance")

- she won't have to tell me anymore that I often feel attacked (as if she
knows how I feel - incredible similarities, even same formulations like X.) and that I should stop defending myself even though I'm just not agrreing with her in some
situations and standing up for myself

- she won't have to bear the fact that I love to wear my hair (very) short anymore

- she won't have to hate the fact that I'm OUT anymore

- she won't have to mock me anymore immediately after I wake up or whenever she thinks
that she has to make fun of me because I fell asleep [most often after her] because I was exhausted [what an abominable crime! how could I? ;-D]

- no more of my "smelly" socks and shoes in her apartment (of course, her socks and feet
always smell like fresh flowers and they never stink and Madame has absolutely no
body odor, haha) [to be fair, she also hates it when she's sweaty and when her armpits
are wet due to perspiration)