When I'm in my favorite beach outwear at the moment (short-sleeved lycra shirt, board shorts) I overhear more often than usual people ask someone who is walking or sitting right next to them: "Is this a boy/man/guy or a girl/woman?".
Today an approximately ten-year old boy asked his friend this about me. His taller and probably older friend told him that I'm a man. The smaller guy retorted "but he doesn't have hairy legs". This prompted the older boy to say that this is because I am "a guy who shaves his legs".
Tuesday, August 3, 2010
Saturday, July 17, 2010
Personal experiences of sexism & homophobia
- Excerpt from a conversation I had with one of my father's friends in front of a supermarket in 2008. This guy (from now on P.) is approximately 45 years old.
P.: Do you have a boyfriend?
Me: No, I don't.
P.: You should really get a boyfriend!
Me: Why's that?
P: So that he can heal you.
Me: I'm perfectly healthy.
- Another "friend" (he is also ca. 45 years old) of my father once said in my presence that "gays are really sick". He told me that his wife was friends with a gay man and that she was often having coffee with this man. The gay man had often invited him to join them and have a cup of coffee with them but he always turned him down. He explained to me that he could never sit next to this gay man and shuddered at the mere thought of it.
- An approximately 50-year-old dentist once told me in 2009 that he would deport all gays to Siberia and that he would like to see whether they could get an erection when it is 60 degrees C below zero. Moreover, he said that "today men aren't real men anymore and women aren't real women".
- Another "friend" (he is in his late forties) of my father once told my dad and me that one of his waiters is gay and that this is ok but that he would never let him manage his restaurant. On another occasion the same man said that "it's better to be an asshole than to be gay".
I guess that some of them just wanted to see how I would react to their remarks. I think that they assumed that I was gay or anything but straight and that they wanted me to say something that would confirm their assumptions.
P.: Do you have a boyfriend?
Me: No, I don't.
P.: You should really get a boyfriend!
Me: Why's that?
P: So that he can heal you.
Me: I'm perfectly healthy.
- Another "friend" (he is also ca. 45 years old) of my father once said in my presence that "gays are really sick". He told me that his wife was friends with a gay man and that she was often having coffee with this man. The gay man had often invited him to join them and have a cup of coffee with them but he always turned him down. He explained to me that he could never sit next to this gay man and shuddered at the mere thought of it.
- An approximately 50-year-old dentist once told me in 2009 that he would deport all gays to Siberia and that he would like to see whether they could get an erection when it is 60 degrees C below zero. Moreover, he said that "today men aren't real men anymore and women aren't real women".
- Another "friend" (he is in his late forties) of my father once told my dad and me that one of his waiters is gay and that this is ok but that he would never let him manage his restaurant. On another occasion the same man said that "it's better to be an asshole than to be gay".
I guess that some of them just wanted to see how I would react to their remarks. I think that they assumed that I was gay or anything but straight and that they wanted me to say something that would confirm their assumptions.
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