A straight and married woman from one of my clubs began to show more interest in me since she knows that I'm queer (in her opinion, I'm a lesbian) and that I was invited to the capital after I had applied to become a local LGBTIQ activist. She asked me when I was going and told me jokingly (she loves to joke around with people and most of the time she isn't serious when I see her)that I would soon be the representative for the whole county. She then quipped that no one really needs men and that she would become a lesbian too. I didn't react to that. Maybe I would have if we were alone and if I sensed that she wasn't just kidding. I didn't "gayducate" her. We were in a meeting and I didn't feel like explaining to her that one usually is born gay/bi/straight/pan etc.
Her father is homophobic. When I came out to him and his wife he told me "that [being queer] is in now, isn't it?!" like it's some kind of fashion or trend that people choose to follow. Since he's a war veteran who leans to the far right, who's suffering from a post-traumatic stress disorder and who likes to provoke people since he's confrontational and bellingerent I thought that it was wiser not to argue with him. My father often used to say when I was growing up that one will never reach one's goal if one throws a stone at every dog that barks at you along your way (the dogs bark but the caravan moves on).
I told her that even in cities such as Split that has more than 200 000 inhabitants it's very difficult to gather ten local people to an LGBTIQ meeting - a meeting where people just hang out, talk, have coffee or watch a documentary or movie. She let me know that this doesn't surprise her and that it's no wonder considering the recent events there (she was referring to the homophobic violence during the first Split Pride). I added "then you can imagine what it's going to be like here, probably no one is going to attend it aside from me". She immediately said "I'll come and then you and I'll have coffee". I really appreciate her offer to show up if nobody else does. :-)
Yesterday his daughter first started teasing an older man that she always sees him with different women and she complained jokingly that he had turned her down. She then said again so that I and another female member of our club could hear her that men are worthless and that her husband at home is too and that she's disappointed with men and that she would become a lesbian. Before I knew what was happening she laid her left arm on my shoulder and tried to pull me to her chest or closer in her embrace. I removed her arm and told her "stop it I have a girlfriend". The woman sitting left to me laughed and repeated my words because she thought that I was kidding or maybe she couldn't believe that I had just confirmed her assumptions seeing that she's one of those woman who asked me once why I am wearing my hair this short and yesterday she asked me when I had shaved my hair and she asked me to let it grow at least a little bit. Our mutual friend then pretended to be hurt because not only had some men turned her down but me as well.
I didn't take offense at the fact that she seems to think that women "turn" gay when men don't want them or because they are disappointed with men. I could have told her that most gay women I know don't feel physically attracted to men at all and that it doesn't bother them when men aren't interested in them - on the contrary some of them are unnerved when they have to deal with unwanted male attention. I didn't feel the urge to explain this to her or to justify my sexual orientation.
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