life has its own ways

You tried to make me feel as if it was all my fault and as if I would have to change and be a certain way so that you could like me.

You pretended that your life was perfect and that you didn't have any problems. You acted as if you knew everything best. Guess what, content people aren't being hateful towards others for no reason and they don't go around hurting others intentionally. IMO, happy people who have no worries don't chew their fingernails until they bleed as you did.

You desperately searched for reasons and pretexts to dislike me. Some of them were insanely absurd.

I'm not saying that you're bi or gay but I know that you're unhappy because some parts of your life didn't turn out as you had wished and imagined. It happens to everyone. There's no need to beat yourself up because of it. You're too hard to yourself. There are things in life that we just can't control no matter how hard we try. You don't have to feel as a failure.

What hurt me the most was that you couldn't talk to me about it and that you shut me out even though I was your best friend. I doubt that you'll be able to be honest with someone else about the things that are bothering you since you couldn't open up to me although you had known me for 20 years.