Coming out to you

When I came out to you in 2008, you told me that you couldn't care less what sexual orientation your friends have. (In 2010, you said something similar: "the sexual orientation of my friends is so unimportant to me". Later I thought that the sexual orientation of a friend of yours may one day be very important to you if you ever fall for a gay guy.) You didn't want to make a big deal of my coming out - as if it happened every day to you that a friend whom you'd known for 18 years suddenly tells you that she's interested in women. You acted as if it was no big deal. I remember that you told me that you had bisexual and gay women among your friends and acquaintances. Funny how you had never told me this before.

Honestly, I don't get it and I'm not the only one who doesn't. My friends agree with me that you must have assumed that I wasn't straight but that you for some reason never confronted me with your assumption. My mom thinks that you would have reacted differently if the "news" were something you never expected or thought of. In her opinion, you'd have said something like: "Really? I would have never thought that. I'm surprised ..." etc.

You never asked me questions like "how or since when do you know?" or "have you ever been physically attracted to me or have you ever had feelings for me?".

I didn't expect that you'd say "this has got to be celebrated" or that you'd throw a party for me but I didn't except either that you would be so indifferent like "ok, what's for dinner?".

You never offered to me that you'd go with me to a gay bar or a queer club or party. I'm not reproaching you anything just comparing. You never were a party person. When it comes to that, we were very similar. I have never been into clubbing and partying either but I love to listen to music and watch people (especially some women, of course :-)) dance and have fun on the terrace of a beach lounge bar, for example. You never tried to set me up with one of your bisexual or gay female friends. I never asked you to but I think that it would have been a nice gesture if you had at least offered it.
In 2009, I met a straight girl from abroad and we spend six days together. On the second day she told me that she would accompany me to a queer party if she lived in my country or if there was one while she was here. I hadn't asked her. I had just told her that I had considered attending a queer party for the first time in my life but that I hadn't done it so far because I'm not into partying and drinking and because I thought that I therefore wouldn't enjoy myself. Back then I would have liked someone to go with me because I didn't want to go by myself. Now I wouldn't have a problem of going to lesbian party alone.