not the only gay in the village

In a little more than 28 months I've only seen one lesbian couple holding hands in public in my home town - they were German tourists and not locals. [Oddly enough, they mistook me for a guy. I heard one of the women say to her girlfriend "Mensch, ist der braun" meaning "man, look how tanned he is".] Since it was high season the promenades and sidewalks were packed with people. While some individuals (locals) looked at them in shock, awe and disbelief as if they had seen an alien, most people (tourists) didn't even notice them or they didn't seem to care.

The majority of the local gays and lesbians in my town appear to be afraid of their own shadow. Some of them seem to be hiding behind big dark sunglasses that they're wearing even in winter when it's cloudy and rainy. One could compare them to little scared animals that would probably flee in panic if someone approached them. So far only one young gay woman has smiled at me when she saw me waiting in a line at a supermarket. Back then I had no idea that she's gay - I figured that out a lot later. :D Since then I've walked past her and her (girl-)friend [?] a couple of times - we were in a hurry and heading in opposite directions. She looked friendly and interested both of the times but she never said "hi" or anything like that to me. I overheard her telling her friend "that's the girl I've ..." when they were passing me by. Judging from her reaction, her friend (whom I would describe as soft butch who's sporting an assymetrical alternative lifestyle haircut) didn't seem to be interested in me at all. I mean, what was I supposed to do? Stop them in their tracks and say something stupid like "hi, I'm gay, too", "hi, yes, I'm a dyke in case you're still wondering which I highly doubt" or "great to see that I'm not only lesbian around here"?

Is she or isn't she at least bi?

How can you know? Many women claim to be straight even though they're not. If a woman tells me that she's only interested in men I respect that even when I find it hard to believe. I would never say something like "but I saw how you ogled the hot waitress" to her. (Besides, women can always say/pretend that they just liked the jeans or the top that the woman they were having eye sex with was wearing.) Sometimes I find out later that I have rightfully doubted her. One of my friends told me that you cannot really be 100 % sure that a woman is attracted to women or gay until she tells you. But IMO even then you can't be sure. I've heard stories about women who have been in a lesbian relationship for several years and then break up with their partners telling them that they have never been gay (they go hasbian on them).

My gaydar/ladar/lesdar (or whatever you prefer to call it) used to suck big time but it has improved over the past few years. When it comes to femmes, it still doesn't work most of the times. Maybe it just needs stronger batteries for femmes, lipstick lesbians, girly girls etc. :-)

In my experience, two out of three women who wear silver thumb rings aren't gay.

I once asked one of my facebook friends: "if a woman wrote you 'I have the COMPLETE The L Word series in my possession and other awesome movies' would you evaluate this as an implicit coming out?". My fb friend replied something like: "lol, yes I would". Unfortunately, the lady who posseses the complete TLW series 'came out' as straight/interested in men/looking for a boyfriend a couple of weeks after her 'confession'. Even before I met her in person I assumed that she's at least bi because of the way she looked in her photos. I could say "I guess I was wrong" but I won't. I think that she's in denial.