The closeted lion

She (in her 50-s, never been married, no children, zodiac sign: lion) has commented several times on my short hair and she has asked me why I'm wearing my hair like this and since when and if I ever had long hair. In my experience, women who ask me such questions more than once are usually at least bi-curious but most of them are closeted lesbians who are too afraid to ask directly whether I'm playing for the same team as them.

She has asked me for or mentioned my zodiac sign at least six times now. I've told her a few times "you've already asked me that (twice/four times etc.)". I once asked her "why are you asking me this?" and she replied something like "I just wanted to know". She's a bad liar.

Last Saturday, when she introduced me to one of her female friends (ex-lawyer/now artist), she told me and her friend that we both have the same zodiac sign. Her friend retorted "as if this is important".

While we were hanging out she receveid a phone call and put it on speaker ([das macht .., wenn sie den/die Anrufer/in nicht mag und meist sagt sie das den Leuten auch, aber nicht sofort!!!]) so that her friend and I could hear the conversation. The woman who called her first pretended to be a man and talked in a lower voice and told our mutual friend "nabijem te" (vulgar for I'm nailing/penetrating/entering you - normally men use this kind of language).

Yesterday I borrowed a line from the movie Elena Undone and I asked her "you know that I'm gay?". She replied unconvincingly and flustered: "no, how would I know that? Does one just know that?". I told her: "people who are honest with me tell me that it's obvious". She retorted: "Why would it be obvious? Because of your hair?". (She betrayed herself with this last question, IMO.) I said "no, not because of my haircut, because of everything (the whole picture)". Less than a minute afterwards she asked me whether I knew that there was a lesbian organization in a nearby city. I never met a straight person who not only knows about this organization but about other ones as well. She proceeded to tell me that one of her female friends who isn't "that" because she is married to a man and has a child is attending some of the computer courses the organization offers. I didn't tell her that one can be in a straight relationship or married to a man and have ten children and still be bisexual or gay.

added November 15, 2011: Yesterday I met a friend (or an acquaintance) of hers. The man is in his late 50s. He's married and has kids. Among other things, he called her "asexual" and told her that she had a different sexual orientation. She didn't retort anything. A couple of minutes later she told him that he's always like that (= talking about sex, asking personal/intimate questions, putting his nose in other people's business etc.). He asked her: "when was the last time you were shagged/fucked" ("kad si se zadnji put kresnula?"). She laughed and I think that she asked him something like "is that any of your business?" or "why does that matter to you?".

He asked me "do you have a boyfriend?". I told him "No. I'm gay, I have a girlfriend". He disapprovingly looked at me from head to toe and said "I thought so". He told us that when a man tells a woman that he's gay or bisexual that they are immediately more interested in him because they want to heal him and because women are perverted in his opinion. Our mutual friend shook her head in disagreement and snorted at his remark while she contemptuously repeated the word "heal". In his opinion, women do not find macho men appealing at all. He thinks that it's useless if a man behaves like a macho and tells a woman "I would do this with/to you".

added December 9, 2011: She never answered the following questions: - when was your last relationship [RS] (with a man and/or a woman)?, - how long did your longest RS last, who broke up with who and WHY?, - do you have a type?, - what do you look for in a partner/a RS?

not the only gay in the village

In a little more than 28 months I've only seen one lesbian couple holding hands in public in my home town - they were German tourists and not locals. [Oddly enough, they mistook me for a guy. I heard one of the women say to her girlfriend "Mensch, ist der braun" meaning "man, look how tanned he is".] Since it was high season the promenades and sidewalks were packed with people. While some individuals (locals) looked at them in shock, awe and disbelief as if they had seen an alien, most people (tourists) didn't even notice them or they didn't seem to care.

The majority of the local gays and lesbians in my town appear to be afraid of their own shadow. Some of them seem to be hiding behind big dark sunglasses that they're wearing even in winter when it's cloudy and rainy. One could compare them to little scared animals that would probably flee in panic if someone approached them. So far only one young gay woman has smiled at me when she saw me waiting in a line at a supermarket. Back then I had no idea that she's gay - I figured that out a lot later. :D Since then I've walked past her and her (girl-)friend [?] a couple of times - we were in a hurry and heading in opposite directions. She looked friendly and interested both of the times but she never said "hi" or anything like that to me. I overheard her telling her friend "that's the girl I've ..." when they were passing me by. Judging from her reaction, her friend (whom I would describe as soft butch who's sporting an assymetrical alternative lifestyle haircut) didn't seem to be interested in me at all. I mean, what was I supposed to do? Stop them in their tracks and say something stupid like "hi, I'm gay, too", "hi, yes, I'm a dyke in case you're still wondering which I highly doubt" or "great to see that I'm not only lesbian around here"?