when love doesn't suffice

Today I wondered
whether I still
with her out of gratitude or
beacuse I somehow feel obliged
to stay with her or because
I don't want to hurt her or
because I don't know
how to break up. Maybe I'm too
weak. Maybe I'm a coward.
Maybe I'm too scared to be
alone again even though
I often think that I was
happier when I was single (
without her). I know - it's a contradiction. I miss
her when we're a few hours apart.

She doesn't understand my need
for space and time that I spend
on my own.

I often feel that I began
to lose myself (the life I
was used to and that I liked) and
that I'm not living my life
because we mostly do what she
wants. She's very jealous
and possessive. One friend told me that
my gf is monopolizing me. When I just
started writing a short text message
to someone she tells me not
to write novels. She calls my
female friends witches.
Most of the time, she wants me to be with her
24/7 when she doesn't have to
work.

I sometimes think that she doesn't need a girlfriend
but loyal groupies who would worship her.

Friends tell me that I deserve better. That her behavior is often
mean and unfair towards me.

I definitely care about her
very much and I love her but
sometimes love isn't enough.

She often succeeds in laying
guilt trips on me even though
I know that she should apologize
to me and not the other way round.

I still havent't learned to
put myself first.

Sometimes we unintentionally
hurt each other. Neither all
of her needs nor all of mine
are met in our relationship.
However do perfect
relationships even exist?